


let me count the ways

by cyrus is a goodman (hashtag_fangirling)



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Aged Up, Alternate Universe - High School, Friends to Lovers, Jealous TJ, M/M, T. J. Kippen & Amber Are Siblings, Tyler James Kippen, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, anxiety!tj, tj and cyrus are sophomores to seniors in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 00:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19878862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hashtag_fangirling/pseuds/cyrus%20is%20a%20goodman
Summary: the five times tyrus didn’t say “i love you” + the one time they did





	1. part 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all! this has been an idea i've been playing with for quite some time! and since this will have 6 chapters, i wanted to post one every day before the season finale of andi mack! please enjoy!
> 
> also, just an fyi (cw), tj has an anxiety attack in this chapter! if this may be triggering, please do not read!

  1. **The first time, TJ didn’t say, “I love you,” to Cyrus.**



It was the middle of March. For some, that meant the end of winter and the beginning of spring. For Tyler James Kippen, it was the last game of basketball season. Grant High School’s varsity basketball team was in the championship game against their rivals, Monroe High School. As captain, TJ knew there was a lot riding on the game. The team’s first state level title, a college scholarship, and his family’s financial status.

Suddenly, everything came crashing down. TJ sat himself down on a hard wooden bench in the locker room. It became difficult to breathe. He tried taking deep breaths in and out to stabilize himself, just had Cyrus had taught him the last time this happened.

Last time, he had a panic attack after finding out about his math grade. With Cyrus’s tutoring skills, TJ hadn’t been worried about his C+ in the class since middle school. But, after picking up more hours at his job to help make ends meet, his math teacher, Mrs. Reeves, pulled him aside and told him he may not be able to play. He stumbled out of the room as though he was intoxicated, tripping over nothing as his lungs began to overwork themselves. In the light coming from the windows, he saw the brown hair and dinosaur button-down that he came to admire so much. Seeing Cyrus stabilized him, and Cyrus was able to conduct him through the breathing patterns.

Still hyperventilating, TJ curled up into a ball on the floor, resting his back against some of the lockers and waiting for the terror to end. It felt like an eternity until he saw the familiar fluffy brown hair and button-down (this time, with basketballs) come towards his way.

Even with his blurry vision, he could make out the cute brown eyes of the boy in front of him. The boy who befriended him in eighth grade and still had remained his friend for the last two-and-a-half years. He could see the concern lingering in the crevice of his dimples and normally-laugh lines.

TJ felt the warmth of Cyrus’s body as it slammed against the locker beside him. He felt a warm hand grab his cold palm and give it a small squeeze. With only a few inches between then, he could hear the subtle dip of Cyrus’s breath and could see the concave and the convex of his chest.

In the haze of it all, TJ’s sweaty palm was suddenly wrapped by a warm palm. Even in his anxiety attack, TJ’s stomach still fluttered endlessly by his best friend’s touch.

Slowly, Cyrus neared his mouth to TJ’s ear, and softly, he whispered, “Deep breath in, and deep breath out.” He complied eagerly, letting Cyrus’s soothing voice guide him into a state of calm.

Eventually, after a couple of minutes, TJ’s panic attack had subsided. He contributed everything to the boy sitting next to him. And so, he asked Cyrus how did he know to find him.

“You didn’t come out with the rest of your team to warm up. That didn’t seem like a captain thing to do.” TJ let out a soft chuckle while thinking how well Cyrus knew him. He saw the smile start to appear on Cyrus’s face again as the brunette boy asked him a question. “What’s on your mind?”

He wanted to tell Cyrus. About the basketball scouts from UCLA. About his dad’s lost job. About the upcoming threat of his housing foreclosure. He wanted to tell Cyrus everything, but he didn’t think it was the time. Staring at the bottom of the bench “I have to be on the court in less than five minutes. I don’t think we have the time.”

Big brown eyes came into contact into contact with his green ones as Cyrus responded. “Five minutes is a lot of time, especially if there’s something on your mind. You’re more important than a basketball game.”

TJ never understood how Cyrus could make him feel like the most incredible person on the planet. Cyrus reminded him of the ginger honey remedy his mother made when he was sick, a drink that burned on the way down but made him feel better nonetheless. Cyrus was intoxicating, and TJ thought he was addicted. And so, he had to listen.

TJ took another deep breath, staring at his twiddling thumbs before proceeding. “There are a lot of college scouts at this game. We’re sophomores, and college is approaching. My dad just lost his job, and my mom barely makes anything at her job at the diner. I need to get a college scholarship, and I’m so afraid that I’m going to fail today.” By then end, TJ realized that his cheeks were stinging from the sensation of the warm tears rolling down his face.

He felt Cyrus squeeze his hand again, a nice gesture that he was there. Cyrus, the boy who was here for him when he was being mean to Buffy. Cyrus, the boy who descelated him from the gun situation. Cyrus, the boy who had someone found a place in his head and his heart from the moment he helped him get the chocolate chocolate chip muffin. Cyrus was always there.

TJ was taken out of his thoughts once Cyrus said, “Thank you for telling me how you feel.” Cyrus grabbed his other hand and pulled their hands together. “I want you to know that this game is one of many games. You’ve done absolutely incredible at every single game you played this season, and as varsity captain, you’ve led your team to victory time and time again. The scouts already know about your track record. Today can’t change that.”

Moving his eyes from there intertwined hands to Cyrus’s face, TJ saw the soft smile adorning the brunette boy’s face. He smiled too. He couldn’t help it, Cyrus’s smile was contagious.

TJ finally felt ready. To get up. To play his best. To wow the UCLA college scouts. And it was all because of the beautiful boy sitting to his left. TJ took a deep breath, propped himself up, and said Buffy’s favorite words. “You’re right.” TJ extended a hand towards Cyrus, who gladly took it in his to pull himself upwards. With the anxiety attack in the past, TJ could feel the strange energy running from where his hand connected with Cyrus’s throughout his body. “You’re always right.”

Cyrus turned his head to the side and scoffed. “I’m not always right, but having four psychologists as your parents makes you understand that talking about your feelings to someone you trust actually helps.”

TJ knew that wasn’t what helped him. He opened up way more now than before. With his sister Amber, he was able to talk about his feelings and his worst anxieties. They’ve had too many long drives in Amber’s silver sedan talking about their deepest fears. Amber was the first person to whom he came out, the only person who knew about his feelings towards his best friend.

TJ shook his head with a slight smile. He had to be back on the court in two minutes, but he knew what he needed to say. “No, that wasn’t what made me feel better. All I needed was one look at you, and now, I am okay.” He paused a little, hesitantly wondering if he would be too forward with what was coming next. And so, for the millionth time in that moment, he took a breath before proceeding.

**“I could never get tired of looking at you.”**

He looked up in time to see a little pink rising to Cyrus’s smiling cheeks, not sure if Cyrus was embarrassed or blushing a little. “Okay, now you’re just trying to make me blush.”

TJ knew that Cyrus had a difficult time accepting compliments, but this one he meant. “Why can’t I try to compliment you and make you blush at the same time?”

Cyrus’s smiling face looked radiant, a gesture which TJ interpreted as him being his normal self. He knew there was no way that Cyrus could actually like him as more than his best friend.

But in that moment, TJ didn’t want to think about his hopeless unrequited crush on his best friend. He had a game to captain.

He pushed himself off of the bench, and teasingly asked a, “shall we?” as he extended his hand towards Cyrus’s. The brunette took his hand and got up with a smile. As the two walked back to the basketball court, Cyrus never let go of his hand, and TJ never wanted him too.


	2. part 2

  1. ~~****The first time, TJ didn't say, "I love you," to Cyrus.****~~
  2. **The second time, Cyrus didn’t say, “I love you,” to TJ.**



Being friends with TJ had it perks. Since his best friend was captain of the varsity basketball team, Cyrus had access to every high school party at Grant High School and quite a few from the surrounding schools. Cyrus wasn’t a heavy drinker by any means, but being he usually drank enough to get tipsy. Being tipsy was enough to forget about the chemistry assignment he had due Monday and the physical education exam he had coming up next week. Being tipsy was enough to forget about his undeniable crush on his straight best friend.

Cyrus had met TJ in eighth grade, the day that Buffy said she would only tutor TJ if he got Cyrus a chocolate chocolate chip muffin. And he didn’t realize it until later, but Cyrus had been whipped since that day. He definitely had a type: cute, athletic, and 100% straight. They were juniors now, so close to college yet so far. The impending fear of standardized tests and college visits was anxiety provoking. But, Cyrus liked high school parties on warm September nights like these because they allowed him to relax a little.

He’d been to enough Grant parties to know that TJ didn’t drink due to a long family history of alcoholism. However, that didn’t stop his best friend from getting high with his friends to enjoy a good night. Last year in sophomore year, Cyrus had smoked with TJ once, but he didn’t enjoy the feeling of being high or the increased paranoia he felt, even with his favorite person present.

And thus, the two were okay with doing different things, as usual. Cyrus made a habit of inviting Buffy and Andi to the parties in order to have people similar to him. Subconsciously, he knew that a part of him also invited the other two members of the Good Hair Crew because he needed someone to make sure that he didn’t spill his feelings to TJ. Andi had never had a desire to drink and took pleasure in her intoxicated friends’ buffoonery, so she was always the designated driver. Surprisingly enough, Buffy wasn’t a fan of drinking, but she and TJ became really good friends after TJ stole a golf cart for her. And, at these parties, Buffy and TJ would usually smoke weed in the corner together. 

By the time the Good Hair Crew had reached TJ’s teammate Brian Johnson’s house, it was ten o’clock. The warm air clung to the hairs on his skin, and the night sky was so dark blue that it looked black. A benefit of living in Shadyside was that every night, Cyrus could look up and see all of the stars in the whole universe. 

As the theme of the party was the beach, Cyrus wore a pink Hawaiian shirt (he unbuttoned the top three buttons, leaving some of his chest exposed) with khakis and an orange plastic lei that he bought at Dollar Tree. Andi was wearing a cute red string bikini top and denim shorts on which she embroidered a tropical red flower. Buffy went a different path, wearing a skin-tight wetsuit and a necklace with a surfboard on it. Cyrus knew she was going to get hot real quick, but he didn’t care. What he did care about was finding his best friend (and crush) somewhere in the sweaty beer-smelling basement of Brian’s house.

As they entered the house, three GHC members went their separate ways. Andi probably went looking for Amber Kippen; the two had been dating since the beginning of Cyrus’s sophomore year. Buffy went looking for Marty, as their method of extreme flirting was trying to one-up each other in water pong and then smoking together afterwards. Neither could admit their feelings for each other, so they resorted to flirty competition to show the other how much they care.

Cyrus made his way down the stairs, entranced by the music blasting out of the sound system, taking him deeper and deeper into the basement. He wanted to find his best friend somewhere in the sea of high schoolers swaying to the music with red solo cups in their hands.

Then, he saw him. There he was, TJ Kippen, clad in board shorts, sunglasses, and flip flops, smoking a joint in the back of the basement with some of his basketball buddies whose names Cyrus couldn’t remember in that moment. Worse, that’s all he was wearing, aside from a golden chain across his neck adorned with a cross. Suddenly, Cyrus was taken back to the sidewalk outside of Jefferson Middle School on Costume Day in eighth grade. The two had moved past it, sort of. TJ just said that Kira had been blackmailing him, but when Cyrus asked with what, TJ just said it wasn’t important. But, the hurt of showing up at school as a salt shaker without his summer was still heartbreaking. And now, seeing his best friend shirtless in the outfit that he promised to wear three years ago was even more emotional. However, his brain just couldn’t tell whether to be hopeless attracted to him or angry at him.

Knowing what could help, Cyrus immediately walked over to the makeshift bar. Reed, a familiar face who had changed a lot over the years, had apologized to Cyrus for putting him in that position. To Cyrus’s content, the two had become friendly with each other, and there were no hard feelings there.

Cyrus smiled, relieved that TJ wasn’t the only person he knew in the basement. Reed flashed a genuine smile back at Cyrus as he approached the bar and asked, “What can I get for you tonight?”

Most nights, Cyrus would go light, only drinking two beers at the end of the night. Today was not most nights. “I’ll take a double shot vodka lemonade, please.”

Reed laughed, looked towards the back corner of the basement where Cyrus knew his crush was sitting, and then looked back at Cyrus. “Are you sure?”

Taking a deep breath, Cyrus contemplated his decision again. On one hand, he had never been totally drunk before. On the other hand, he really needed to forget about TJ, his stupid board shorts, abs, straightness and all. Cyrus looked back at Reed and nodded heavily, as though he was trying to convince himself that this was a good idea.

Soon enough, Cyrus had a double-shot vodka lemonade handed to him in a red solo cup. After flashing Reed another smile, he walked away with his cup in his hand and made his way towards the dance floor.

_ Here goes nothing _ , he told himself as he took a small sip of Reed’s concoction. Due to the double shot, he could feel the burning of his throat and taste the lemon aftertaste as the liquid streamed down his throat, and he regretted his choice. But with one look at the blond boy who was pulling his heart strings in way too many directions, he took the drink and downed it as fast as possible.

He didn’t feel anything yet, but he knew that he needed more. He left his place on the dance floor to swing by the bar yet again. Yet again, Reed was behind the bar. He asked for the same order. Reed threw the same question as before, “are you sure?” Cyrus nodded, and yet again, was served another vodka lemonade. He made his way over to the dance floor, and repeated the routine from before.

Cyrus learned a lot about himself that night. First off, he was an extreme light weight, and three shots were enough to get him wasted. Secondly, his drunken self could actually dance without being embarrassed. Last but not least, no amount of vodka could make him forget how his insides screamed with one look at TJ.

Before he knew it, Cyrus was almost four double-shot vodka lemonades into the night, with just about half of the cup left, meaning that he had downed at least seven shots. At least he could still do math, he told himself. The world was blurry, the strobe lights in the corner reflecting off of the badly hung disco ball on the ceiling making a glaringly kaleidoscope in his vision. And now, he was dancing on the hardwood floor surrounded by high school juniors and seniors, many of whom were grinding against each other to the beat of the slightly-too-loud music. Sober Cyrus would have felt weird dancing alone, but drunk Cyrus was having the time of his life.

Swaying to the beat with a red solo cup in hand, Cyrus almost forgot about his crush on the boy standing less than fifty feet away from him.

Almost.

TJ made eye contact with him, and his stomach burned. Cyrus wasn’t sure if it was because of the butterflies arising in his stomach or because of the vodka. Even with his impaired vision, he could tell that TJ was moving closer and closer to him. And Cyrus was too conflicted to talk to him, so he ran off the best he could to anywhere but Tyler James Kippen.

-ty&cy-

By the time TJ was able to find him, Cyrus was already sinking into the living room couch with his empty red solo cup to the right. Cyrus had found Andi sitting in Amber’s lap on the couch and decided to join them. When Andi asked him how he was doing, he kind of rambled, none of which he would remember the next morning.

“TJ is wearing the outfit day he should have worn on Costume Day, and I don’t hold grudges, but he looks so goddamn good, and all of these feelings are bubbling in my stomach--maybe that’s just the alcohol. At this point, I can’t tell.”

Andi looked extremely shocked and Amber, another sober sister, couldn’t contain her grin either. Getting off of her girlfriend’s lap, Andi sat between her best friend and her girlfriend on the couch. Cyrus immediately wrapped her up into a side hug and dug his chin into the crevice of her shoulder.

Cyrus knew that Andi had only ever seen him tipsy. For God’s sake, he had only ever seen himself tipsy.

He heard Andi sweetly ask, “Cyrus, how much did you have to drink already?”

Cyrus let go of Andi’s body to put up what he thought was eight fingers. “I had this many shots of vodka in my lemonade.” He knew there was nothing that could get rid of the grin plastered across his plastered face.

Andi threw him a, “oh, honey,” as he returned his arms and chin into their places on his best friend. He stayed comfortably there as the two girls talked about Amber’s college applications and Andi’s latest digital art project at SAVA. Cyrus could feel Andi’s nimble fingers playing with his hair, and so, he gushed about his amazing best friend.

“Oh Andi, I think you’re one of the best artists in the whole world. Remember your art piece from eighth grade called Trashing Stereotypes? Amber, how many people do you know who could take literal garbage and make a self-portrait out of it? I know absolutely nobody. And not only that, but Andi, you’re an absolutely amazing friend and I love you with my whole heart.”

He heard Amber call him an “affectionate drunk” as Andi snickered, but what he noticed more was the silhouette of the person he didn’t want to see approaching the couch. Cyrus was bombarded with the image of his best friend that brought back too many bad memories. Of the embarrassment he felt dressed as salt. Of the hurt in his heart when he saw TJ on the swings with Kira, someone who made him feel insignificant. He never understood that, how someone who made him feel like the most significant person in the whole universe would befriend someone as awful as her. Sure, TJ and Kira weren’t really friends anymore, but it still stung.

Nonetheless, a red and squinty-eyed TJ found him with his hands around Andi and a huge grin on his face. Cyrus could tell that TJ looked concerned, but Cyrus was barely to look at his face while the blond boy was shirtless.

Finally, he heard TJ speak for the first time that night. “Cy, are you okay? You’ve been avoiding me this whole night”

Sober Cyrus would have said that he hadn’t been avoiding his best friend. However, Cyrus was not at all sober.

Cyrus crossed his arms around his chest, and definitely stated, “I don’t want to talk to you, Tyler James Kippen.”

He could tell that TJ had taken slight offence. However, both Andi and Amber said that they should give the two space, got off the couch, and walked out of the living room. TJ took that as his cue to sit down next to Cyrus on the couch. It took a lot of self-restraint to not fling his arms against TJ’s.

Cyrus was looking everywhere but at TJ, but he could still feel the space between the two of them. Maybe it was the vodka, but he felt that TJ was sitting miles away from him on the couch.

However, the space between them didn’t stop TJ from talking to him. “Cyrus, how much did you have to drink tonight?”

Without looking at him, Cyrus mumbled, “Around eight drinks worth.” He buried his face into the couch’s armrest, which was actually very comfortable.

He could hear the concern dripping from TJ’s voice. “We both know you don’t drink that much, Underdog. What’s going on?”

Cyrus wanted to talk to his best friend. He really did, but what was he going to say.  _ You look really hot in the outfit you should have worn to Costume Day _ ? But, here he was, eight drinks in, not really caring about what the consequences of his actions would be.

He finally looked over at the boy on his left, noticed the small smile that danced across TJ’s face, tried to keep his eyes on the green eyes in front of him, and threw his question out in the air.

“When did you buy your outfit?”

TJ seemed taken aback by the bluntness of his question. Cyrus knew that this was out of character for him, but maybe it was about time he shattered the assumptions that people made. 

“Um, I don’t entirely remember?” TJ’s (bare) chest was rising and falling slowly, and Cyrus took some comfort in that. “Maybe around the middle of eighth grade?”

_ So he did remember when _ , Cyrus thought to himself. “Do you remember what was supposed to happen around the middle of eighth grade?”

TJ paused, probably thinking was the purpose of buying his outfit in mid March. Suddenly, Cyrus saw the gears click in his green eyes, and TJ’s smile immediately dropped.

“Oh my God, Cyrus. I’m so sorry,” TJ apologized. “I didn’t know that the whole Costume Day thing bothered you that much.”

Cyrus knew what to reply. He could say that it wasn’t really Costume Day that bothered him, and that Kira could kiss his ass. But, even his drunken self was proper enough to reply like a gentleman.

“It wasn’t really Costume Day that bothered me. We got past that.” Cyrus took a deep breath before continuing. “The outfit reminds me of that time. When you were hanging out with Kira and didn’t really spend time with me. And we drifted apart. I thought we weren’t going to be friends anymore.”

TJ wrapped his arms around Cyrus’s torso, and the shorter boy felt a tight squeeze around his chest that lasted far shorter than Cyrus wanted it to. But, TJ left his arms wrapped around him, and Cyrus rested his head on TJ’s shoulder.

**“TJ, I don’t even want to think about what life would be like without you.”**

Cyrus felt exposed. There he was, practically laying out his feelings on that couch. But all TJ did was pull Cyrus onto his lap and kept his arms wrapped around him.

The brunette boy felt what he thought were lips on his forehead. But he knew he imagined it. As he learned in Health Class, alcohol makes your awareness a little distorted. He was taken out of his thoughts when TJ said, “I promise that’s not something you’ll ever have to worry about.”

Cyrus couldn’t contain his smile. Here he was, sitting in his best friend (aka crush)’s lap enveloped in a hug by his strong, muscled hands. With no anxiety restraining him, Cyrus threw his arms across the blond boy’s chest. With arms wrapped around the taller boy while slurring his words a little, Cyrus preceded by declaring the reasons why the athlete was incredible.

“TJ, you’re such an amazing person!” stated Cyrus with the brightest smile on his face. “I wish I was as athletic, as good with kids, and as kind as you. You’re such a good brother, teammate, and coach. I want to be just like you.”

Sober Cyrus would’ve heard TJ whisper, “Why be me when you’re already perfect?” However, all Cyrus felt was TJ’s hand in his, and all he heard was a quiet, “let’s go dance.”

Cyrus nodded eagerly, and the two boys got off the couch and walked towards the basement door. By the time they got to the dance floor, TJ’s hands had moved from Cyrus’s shoulders to his waist. And Cyrus was all for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading this chapter! comment/kudos if you feel compelled to!
> 
> next chapter will be up tomorrow! we'll see 1/2 of tyrus in a relationship! come back tmrw to see which one!


	3. part 3

  1. ~~****The first time, TJ didn't say, "I love you" to Cyrus.****~~
  2. ~~****The second time, Cyrus didn't say "I love you" to TJ.****~~
  3. **The third time, TJ didn’t say, “I love you” to Cyrus.**



It had been a few days since TJ had texted Cyrus. Normally, TJ wasn’t one to avoid his best friend like that (especially in the middle of junior year midterms), but what can you do when your best friend (and crush) is dating another boy?

Cyrus came out to TJ at Andi’s middle school send off in eighth grade. But, at that point, TJ didn’t know how to articulate his feelings. He could even come out to his own sister until the end of freshman year. TJ’s regretted it since, but he still can’t just come out and say the words to his best friend.

In November, TJ woke up to a text from Cyrus saying that Leo, his middle school locker neighbor, had asked him out on a date. Groggy and upset, TJ sent him a, “good 4 u,” with a thumbs up emoji. He hoped it wouldn’t last.

And yet, it had been three months, and Leo and Cyrus were still going strong.

TJ didn’t want to purposefully avoid Cyrus, but seeing the brunette boy’s eyes light up when talking about his boyfriend hurt TJ in ways that it shouldn’t. And so, TJ decided he was better off just sitting with his basketball friends, hoping that Cyrus and Leo (or Cleo, the ship name that Andi thought was adorable but made TJ want to throw up) would eventually have problems and break up.

But, this was not the way that he wanted it to happen.

TJ had stayed after school for his Algebra 2 tutoring session like he normally did on Tuesdays. Cyrus knew this, as he usually waited for TJ to finish so that TJ would drive him home. However, after Cyrus started dating Leo, the shorter boy would usually hang out with Leo on Tuesdays. Naturally, TJ grew to hate Tuesdays and was unable to focus during his tutoring sessions, his thoughts wandering to what activity the two boyfriends were doing that day.

Once it became a big issue, TJ decided to distance himself from his best friend. Not to the point where Cyrus would entirely notice.

After walking out of the math classroom, TJ walked towards his locker. He was lucky that his locker was in a more secluded area of school. It was at the end of a hallway situated next to a stairwell where many people went when they needed privacy, not that TJ really had any reason to use that stairwell.

So, TJ walked towards his locker to grab his history textbook and his car keys. However, once he reached his locker, he heard a quiet sob coming from the privacy stairwell. TJ wasn’t a monster (anymore), so he needed to make sure that person was okay. After placing his backpack into his locker, he walked over to the entrance of the stairwell empty handed.

TJ hadn’t expected to see his best friend crouched under the stairs with his hands to his face, shielding his head from the evils of the world. Cyrus hadn’t noticed him yet, so the image of Cyrus silently crying had time to sear itself into his brain. He didn’t know what happened, but TJ knew he never wanted to see Cyrus violently shaking with tears pouring down his face.

Eventually, Cyrus had taken his hands off of his face to wipe off the tears, and TJ felt both horrified and relieved to see Cyrus’s bright brown eyes again.

After a sniffle and the back of his hand across his nose, TJ heard Cyrus ask, “How are you doing, TJ?”

_ He’s the one crying, and yet, of course he asks me how I’m doing _ , TJ thought to himself. He knelt down to Cyrus’s height and said, “I’m doing good, but I’m more concerned about what’s going on with you.”

Cyrus took a deep breath out and then in again. With his voice shaky, he proceeded, “I saw Leo kiss another boy today.” TJ saw the tears streaming down his face for the second time.

Suddenly, TJ’s insides were fuming.  _ How dare he _ , he thought _ , take someone as amazing as Cyrus for granted _ ? He wanted to figure out where Leo was, hunt him down, and beat the living daylights out of him. But, TJ knew he couldn’t do that because Cyrus could never forgive him.

Instead, TJ moved from his kneeling position to take a seat next to his best friend. He wrapped one arm around Cyrus’s back and took his other hand, placed it on his cheek, and used his thumb to sweep the tears off Cyrus’s face.

TJ tried to lighten the mood and joked, “I knew it all along,” with a smile. Cyrus perked up a little, but the tears still continued rolling down his face. And TJ, sadly, had to make their conversation more serious.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how are you feeling?”

Cyrus took another hard breath, and TJ could tell how hard he must have been struggling with his emotions. “I don’t know. I mean, Leo has been really kind to me, and we do get along well.” Cyrus paused before continuing as TJ caringly stroked his armed. “He’s the only person who even likes me like that.”

_ If only you knew _ , TJ thought to himself. He wanted to share his feelings. But where could he begin? This also wasn’t the time and the place, as Cyrus was clearly vulnerable and TJ would never want to take advantage of his best friend’s emotions.

Being the voice of reason in this situation, TJ, maybe too bluntly, stated, “You shouldn’t be with someone who cheats on you, Cy.”

Instantly, brown eyes met his green ones, and TJ was reminded how close the other boy’s lips were. But, at that distance, TJ could see the swelling in Cyrus’s eyes from crying and the tears stained onto his cheek.

Cyrus’s lip quivered before speaking. “He’s the only gay guy I know of in all of Utah. A nice guy who cheats on me occasionally.”

TJ could hear how deflated he felt. But, he was just so upset with Leo that he couldn’t let Cyrus go back to someone as awful as him.

“Cyrus, I promise you that there’s someone better out there for you. You just don’t know it yet.”

Cyrus looked slightly better. Thankfully, the tears had stopped, but he still wore a frown on his face. Quietly, TJ heard him whisper, “Maybe I don’t deserve to be in a happy relationship.”

Instantly, TJ felt his heart break. Everything was telling him to confess his feelings. But he couldn’t take advantage of Cyrus’s vulnerability in that moment.

“There’s someone out there who will make you happy. Someone who’ll text you every day to just seeing how you’re doing. Someone who’ll open your car door for you. Someone who’ll answer your phone calls at 4 am even though he’s busy the next day. There’s someone out there who’ll put you first before everything else. And I promise you, Leo isn’t that person.”

Cyrus gave him a soft smile and said, “Thanks for the kind words. If only it were true.”

TJ was infuriated.  _ Can he not see how amazing he is _ ? It took him all of his power not to confess right then it there, but he decided to hold his horses. Calmly he proceeded, “Don’t you understand?”

With a deep breath and his green eyes looking into Cyrus’s brown ones, he proceeded.

**“You deserve the world, Cyrus.”**

After another pause, TJ continued. “And if he doesn’t treat you like you’re the world, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

Cyrus paused, and TJ was immediately concerned that Cyrus figured out his crush. But all of the smaller boy did was take his warm arms and wrapped it around TJ. TJ felt Cyrus’s head against his and hear the brunette boy whisper, “Thanks Teej.”

Still in their hug, TJ asked, “Why didn’t you text me?”

Cyrus looked slightly troubled, a feeling that made TJ uncomfortable. He never wanted to see that look on Cyrus’s face ever again. But, Cyrus proceeded. “You were ignoring me, so I thought you were mad.”

TJ just laughed, and proceeded to say, “How could I ever be mad at you?” Cyrus smiled widely, shrugged, and gave TJ another hug. “Cy, why don’t I give you a ride home?”

Cyrus smiled and said, “I’d like that.” 

The two boys walked out of Grant High School hand-in-hand, and TJ hoped that Cyrus noticed when he opened and held the passenger door open for the younger boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! see ya tmrw for part 4!


End file.
